Harmony

I need a HEFTY BAG for all this trash!

I love writing. It’s my chance to pour my heart and not have to give details! Here’s to my life’s Testament and those I’ll preserve in the freezer! Like the great poet that wrote before me
My thoughts and ideas will never just be Sunshine or gloom
Dark clouds or clear skies
I will speak my fair truth
and utter no lies Those all around us
May struggle with pride
My smiles will shine bright
My tears will be cried Tainted I am not
By cloaks or dark shrouds
I’ve accepted my fate
and will call it out loud The ghosts of this world
Can not bring me down
I’ll take to my grave
What goes comes around

Digging

I went walking in my head the other day
In search of answer to why I live this way.

I must have taken a wrong turn
I returned to the beginning and the bridge was burned.

I wasn’t aware I carried such a fire
Sure enough, the flames grew higher.

How did life come to this
Had to have been a road I missed.

I’ve loved and been loved
Laughed and cried just because

Made mistakes, sometimes twice
Been warm and endearing and cold as ice.

My dreams have such changed; they’ve come and gone
I’ve sat back and wondered “just where do I belong”

Been high in the heavens and dropped down to hell
Life long lessons I know all too well

If all is fair in love and war
Then why do I stay up a creek without an oar.

I see my future and what I desire
Like a broken record, my faith expires.

Shattered hearts have crowded my path
I’m a fatal crash surrounded by glass

As a Black Widow devours her mate
Seems I seek hearts to take

Painful to admit, even worse to confess
To those I have hurt and left a mess.

It’s horrid to discover about myself
things happen for a reason…I guess.
(We are meant for someone else)

I’ve been misguided and wrong a time or two
I know i’m not perfect….neither are you.

The road to Happiness and Eternal Bliss
Is not paved in gold or sealed with a kiss.

It’s rough and ragged and covered in thorns
I may come out bruised and a bit torn

My scars of my life, i’ll carry with pride
For i know i’m not a lost soul…..

Just searching for what’s Right…….

Holiday Away...Extended...Home!

ENOUGH OF THE ROLLER COASTERS FOR ME! I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. …. And how it can actually ache in places you didn’t know you had inside you. …. And it doesn’t matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, …. or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends… …. you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder …. what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. …. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. …. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he’ll see the light and show up at your door. …. And after all that, however long all that may be, you’ll go somewhere new. …. And you’ll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. …. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. …. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade…..

Karma This Dummy!

Karma this Dummy Karma This Dummy I got this from the book “Karma for Dummies” My name is Earl exlains much easier! So Karma that dummy! The term karma crops up often in casual conversation these days, and different people have different ideas of what it means. For some people, karma seems to be unpredictable — kind of like luck. For others, the term means little more than fate, and their attitude toward life, therefore, tends to be rather fatalistic: “It’s my karma to be short-tempered,” they may say. “That’s just the way I am; what can I do?” But Buddhists views karma (which literally means “action”) as both more predictable and more dynamic than the uses of the word just described. You’re continually engaging in actions now that will lead to karmic results in the future, and you’re continually experiencing the karmic results now of actions you created in the past. In other words, your karma isn’t a fixed, unchanging destiny that you must passively accept, as if it were a single, unchangeable poker hand dealt to you by the universe. Instead, your karmic situation constantly shifts and changes depending on how you act, speak, and think right now. By changing your behavior and transforming your mind and heart, you can definitely transform the quality of your life. Looks like the second round of reading this … I finally got it!!

So, He's just not that into you?

“he left me a voicemail at work, so i called him at home, and he emailed my blackberry, so it texted his cell. it’s like being rejected by 7 differnt technologies…it’s exhausting”

I’ve had my fair share of dates, boyfriends, dating…whatever. To me..there is not much more complicated then dating. Do I call him, do I wait till he calls me? All these silly questions.

he’s just not t hat into you if he’s not asking you out.

I’ve met guys before out and about. They totally talk you up, you get along, you think there is this spark…then it happens. He asks for your number. You guys talk and talk and talk. But he never really…asks you OUT. Like meet in person…to have a FACE TO FACE date. So you’ve developed this “friendship”. The stupid line “I just don’t want to ruin a friendship” THAT is total BS. Men do not care about ruining a friendship. If he’s into YOU … then he will ask you out. RUN FORTHE HILLS GIRL!

he’s just not that into you if he’s not calling you.

Yep. When you go out with a guy on a date or two. You hit it off. Then, suddenly, he gets REALLY busy. He just got out of a relationship, he’s moving and doesn’t know how long it will take, he’s crazy busy at work, there is the gym membership he has. Whatever the excuse..if a guy is into you, he’ll find time to call you. I know when i’m having a crappy day, it’s nice to get a call or call the guy that makes all that bs from the day go away for a bit. So, busy is another word for ASSHOLE. You deserve a friggin phone call.

he’s just not that into you if he’s not dating you.

“hanging out is NOT dating” Sure the occasional mingling with friends is fun. It’s not really a “date” to see if you have any romantic interests together. This usually means, hand holding, just the two of you, dinner. So, this friend…great friend. We totally rock together. He had a really bad break-up. Says he just can’t bear to have any kinda pressure on him. Well, we end up sleeping together and it’s great. All the wonderful things. GREAT friends, now GREAT sex. But I can’t decide when or how often I get to see him. Well, LUCKYYYYY him!! All the benefits of a gal pal, AND the sex and affection he needs with NO obligation. You deserve a guy that if he likes you, he WANTS to see you more and more! If you dont know where the relationship os going, it’s ok to pull over and ask.

he’s just not that into you if he’s not having sex with you.

To me, if a guy isn’t having sex with you. He is either gay or the sad truth, he’s not attracted to you. If he isn’t pulling his paws off of you, and can’t stop staring at you, then there is a problem here. He’s not afraid of getting hurt. If he likes you, he’ll kiss you and wonder if you’re wearing a thong. That is what guys do! If you guys go to dinner, and watch movies, and have “slumber” parties with cuddling…and no sex…you need to just get a pet. Pet’s are God’s way of saying “don’t lower your standards, but because you are lonely” The classis tradition is that the woman withholds sex for power..well, seems like men can play that game too. Go find yourself a man that you feel comfortable with having sex with and wants to ravage you every chance he gets! Call it like it is .. a spade a spade or a friend a friend.

he’s just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he’s drunk

Here is the classic thing most men and women do. Go out and party, and drunk dial that safe person who always answers. Meet up for the after party and it’s all fun wild and … well .. .drunken. Now, why would any self respecting girl wanna hang with a guy…and only when he’s drunk? When drinking, it slows down the thought process and things are not always that clear. So this guy only wants to parts of you? It’s sad that alcohol is a huge factor in the beginnings stages of relationships. Some would never get off the ground without a couple of glasses of wine or a shot. first kiss, first time having sex, even the first encounter. Make sure that the beau you meet…meets you under the few drinks to relax and not the “dude i’m bombed…you’re hot…let’s screw” You deserve to be around someone who doesn’t have to be loaded to be around you.

he’s just not that into you if he’s dissapeared on you

With all the technology floating around in space right now, there is NO excuse why a guy you are dating just vanishes out of thin air for days, weeks, or whatever. This one hit close to home. Recently I was kinda dating a guy. We went out on a Friday night…and cut the night early so he could rise n shine the next morning for work. I texted him late the next day asking how his meeting went. He did respond right back. an hour later…i texted him saying i’d like to see him that night and what was he doing. NOTHINg….I say…is tha a no?…..NOTHING. I finally realized…hey, this guy is just really not that into me like I thought. So, I sent a final text, because calling like an adult didnt work when he didnt answer, and told him that I didnt care what reason he had for vanishing again, that I just wasn’t interested in being with a guy like that. He texted me the NEXT day at 1pm. Said that he left his phone in his bosses car and didnt get it till that morning (monday). You know, that may as well be true…but it’s just not something I’m prepared to deal with in a man. If he’s into you, he will find a way to contact you! No answer…is your answer!


In conclusion to this dating phyco babble, these are somethings that I have learned through my years of dating and committing, falling in and out of love..lust..and fantasy!

1. I will not go out with aman who hasn’t asked me out first.
2. I will not date a man who is afraid to express his feelings.
3. I will not date a man who is not sure if he wants to date me.
4. I will not date a man that drinks and only wants to see me when he’s hammered.
5. I will not date a man who can’t decide whether to be just friends or date me.